Rare Candy Treatment Rare Candy Treatment

14 Feb 2012 11:17 am

Scam Ph.D.

Gather enough work points and they'll even receive a legal trainer license in no time at all!

  • First >
  • Last >

14 Feb 2012 11:36 am

It's your average professor but with much less capital to boast with, so cutting corners to maintain the scientific activity is morally objectionable at best. Although the notion of using 10 year olds as field workers have existed since the dawn of this franchise. A perfect example of how the world of pokémon is a grand joke of its own design.

Another fun fact: The only 'offensive' attack known by Magikarp and Hoppip at Lv 5 is Splash.

Sorry about pushing this update past the 3 week barrier. Although I do have 17 hastily drawn strips in honor of Hourly Comic Day I participated in two weeks ago, so if you feel that you crave for something more, check out my lonely and borderline hazardous life.

Me out.

14 Feb 2012 11:53 am

It would technically be possible to make progress with a pokemon that only knew splash if you keep splashing until you have to use struggle.
Sadly, when I was but wee lass in the 90s, I did participate in a magicarp on magicarp fight. I don't remember how it ended, but it was painful. Oh god. D:

14 Feb 2012 11:56 am

@Snailcall: Doesn't stop the fishermen from forming their armies of 'karps.

14 Feb 2012 12:13 pm

I've had experience with both Pokemon.

14 Feb 2012 01:11 pm


I wonder who could be the fire starter in this case?

14 Feb 2012 01:16 pm

And the fire starter?

which fire pokemon is useless at lvl 5?

14 Feb 2012 01:18 pm

Hoppips are awesome! :D

14 Feb 2012 01:44 pm

I always name my Magikarp "Useless", because, until level 15, it is actually useless. It doesn't learn TMs. And it's first skill, which comes late, is "tackle". Tackle is okay, at best. Once, I had actually raised a magikarp to gyarados. I kept the name. I thought it would be funny to have a gyarados named "Useless". The only move that makes a magikarp worth keeping is "flail", but having a phanpy egg at the beginning of S/G/C makes it obsolete.

14 Feb 2012 02:16 pm

Now, I want to make three Fakemon that only know Splash or some other useless move that causes no damage.
...Actually that's a great idea. I'm going to do that.

14 Feb 2012 02:34 pm

Something else I've always wondered: why, in the world of Pokémon, is there only one lead professor per region? Why aren't there trainers from every city heading out on their own journeys? Does everyone seriously travel all the way to your hometown in order to become trainers? Because, considering the areas you can't even access until after you acquire cut, rock break or surf, I see some serious flaws with that idea.

14 Feb 2012 04:25 pm

that first panel is arranged to beautifully. Just look at that professor's face, and the orange haired child.

14 Feb 2012 06:37 pm

@ProjectEgax: Well until it gets to level 15, then it learns ember.

14 Feb 2012 09:13 pm

@Story teller, Astralle: But none of the fail-starters learned anything remotely useful until level 15. So yeah.

14 Feb 2012 09:14 pm

@Snailcall: I didnt even KNOW about Struggle until now...mostly because im THE most cautious pokemon trainer...EVER
(I LIVE at pokemon centers)

14 Feb 2012 09:15 pm

@Nico: The game and series is ALWAYS biased towards fire pokemon over the other 2

14 Feb 2012 09:43 pm

@Derp-de-derp: Hmm, guess that means that all fail pokemon are useless, until level fifteen then depending on how you use them they are somewhat useless or good.

14 Feb 2012 09:46 pm

@Ramonerdna: Is that why they've gotten the least originality in terms of typing recently o_O

14 Feb 2012 09:56 pm

Oh jesus, Magikarp as a starter...

15 Feb 2012 02:59 am

You can breed two magikarp that know flail and tackle, and the offspring will know the moves too.

With that, training it to level 20 wouldn't be a massive problem - and gyarados is epic. So it wouldn't be a bad starter.

15 Feb 2012 11:38 am

Whatever the Fire starter is, make sure it evolves into a Fire/Fighting!

15 Feb 2012 01:18 pm


when I first started Firered I didn't want to leave Mt. Moon until I had caught a Clefairy. Well I was still a novice trainer and so I took Clefairy to Lavender Town and into the tower ALONE. Clefairy vs Ghastly eventually becomes a struggle fight. The best part is that I somehow won xD

15 Feb 2012 01:25 pm

@Bumbazzle: I make a habit of turning them into sushi.

16 Feb 2012 12:18 pm

@Snailcall: Just try an Onix Rage VS. Ditto Onix Rage. Went so slow I had to turn the game off.

16 Feb 2012 01:13 pm

Is this what that one guy from Blue's Clues has to fall back on?
If it's not him, then that sweater sure is popular..

16 Feb 2012 02:25 pm

best starters

@Ramonerdna: not really beacuse you can argue that mudkip was the best starter in gen 3 and bulbasaur was considered the best starter in gen 1 and idk about gen 4/5 cause those gens were bad

16 Feb 2012 04:15 pm

@stavy: Mudkip was the best starter stats wise and Charmander was also the best starter in gen. 1 because of its stats. In their final forms, Venusaur, Blastoise, Charizard, they had 530, 530 and 534 respectively. The gen. 3 starters, Sceptile, Blaziken and Swampert it was 530, 530 and 535 respectively. In generation 4, all starter's stats were the same as well as in generation 5 but in that gen. their stats were overall weaker than every other starter.

16 Feb 2012 09:04 pm

Fire option

As far as Fire pokemon, the most fail overall is Slugma for stats, or possibly litwick for early terrible movepool (smog and firespin lol).

16 Feb 2012 09:32 pm

Fire starters have always been the best UNTIL Gen 5. In Unova, the water starter rules the roost in terms of flexibility of movepool and survivability.

16 Feb 2012 09:46 pm

"Fear not young one. one day your magikarp will be gyarados until then have fun with your splash attack
the professor "

17 Feb 2012 02:26 am


I think I'm a little biased, cos I always take the grass starter, but Bulbasaur was so much better than Charmander for the majority of the game. Charizard is arguably better than Venasaur, but it's a pretty close call in my opinion.

17 Feb 2012 06:18 pm

@Silverix: She could always simply beat other pokemon into submission with it until it evolves...

17 Feb 2012 11:59 pm

@MaDaZi: HA. That made my night.

18 Feb 2012 08:59 pm

@Guest: Stats don't define the best starter its the game usage so technically there is no best starter it depends on the trainer

19 Feb 2012 06:41 am

Woah since when is charmander the best pokemon for the first generation
you're pretty much screwed in gym battles till like the 4th one

19 Feb 2012 09:46 am

@Ruan: Here's a prime way to avoid that--Train in the grass until he's a major o.p. in your party and, you know, that whole catch 'em all deal.

19 Feb 2012 12:00 pm


Is it a little odd that the professor here looks kinda like the you in those hourly comics?

20 Feb 2012 05:54 am

I see what you did there MaDaZi...

20 Feb 2012 10:14 am

@Vegetable: Heh, figured no one would notice. It wasn't done on purpose, as I aimed for a scruffy and rather general look, but sadly, I'm apparently that by defeault. Ugh.

20 Feb 2012 11:18 pm

drew barrymore

@ProjectEgax: hahaha and you get a cookie

21 Feb 2012 05:44 am

Man if that girl leveled up her magikarp to lv20, its easy mode for her afterwads.

21 Feb 2012 10:13 am

@Bumbazzle: At least you know you can pass for a low budget, pokemon scientist if you ever need to.

22 Feb 2012 12:44 am

@smeagol92055: Professer Rowan is not at your hometown

24 Feb 2012 03:28 am

sucs mina is much bettar

27 Feb 2012 10:12 am

Pokeversary much?

It's the 16th anniversary of Pokemon! Comic please?

28 Feb 2012 05:02 pm

I love Hoppip!

29 Feb 2012 10:42 am

@Ramonerdna: Brock and Misty say hi.

04 Mar 2012 01:58 am

You can catch a "whatever that hides in tall grass near starting town" with a pokeball and at full health anyway.

04 Mar 2012 01:46 pm

@ProjectEgax: Flareon is already evolved, you dolt.

06 Mar 2012 07:25 am

@James: well i usually use metal claw in firered with charmander then get pikachu in viridian forest.

18 Mar 2012 01:58 pm

@ProjectEgax: yes but it is a eevee evolition

11 May 2012 10:15 pm

@Nico: There is not a single fire pokemon that could be considered useless ;)

20 Aug 2012 09:04 pm

Extremely late reply, but I just checked and the outcome is funny enough to mention.

The only useless fire pokémon at lvl 5:


Only knows whirlwind.

Imagine getting Ho-oh for a starter, then realizing you won't get past the first trainer you meet. :3